I Hate That You Know Me So Well (Not Really)
by EmmaShalforever
Summary: A One Shot that delves into the posibility of Neal staying in touch with his son after things have settled down and the issues that creates. Established SwanQueen.


Pairing: SwanQueen

Rating: T.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters and make no profit from them.

* * *

Emma Swan is mostly happy with her life.

Cora has been sent away to another realm and even though she's sure to eventually find a way back, for the moment, there's peace. She has a secure job with a steady income. And she's living in a mansion. With her girlfriend. And their son.

Yes, her life is pretty damn good.

But then there's the times when Neal comes to visit Henry. That's the times she loathes.

Not because of the man himself. They've managed to strike some sort of understanding that works for them; don't ever talk about the way he hurt her.

No, what gets her each and every time is that whenever Neal comes it means Regina will play the perfect hostess, offering him a room to stay in at the mansion because he's Henry's father and the kid wants him there. And as selfish and pathetic as it sounds, that means no sex until he's left again. But worse, it means a mayor who pulls away from her because she's convinced Emma will come to her senses and leave her at any moment.

Regina doesn't have many weaknesses, but for some reason that the sheriff can't fathom, she always looks at Neal as a threat. Like she thinks he can give the blonde something she can't – possibly because he was her first love and he gave her Henry – and even though Emma can see why her girlfriend would think that, it's frustrating that the woman can't seem to believe her when she tells her that her fears are unwarranted.

Because first of all the man is engaged. Not to mention that he broke her heart and sent her to jail. And, honestly, what can he possibly have against a woman like Regina? At least that's what Emma feels.

And so she's come to loathe the times her phone rings and the caller id says 'Neal.'

* * *

Emma knows better than to suggest they get some quality time together when father takes son on some imaginary adventure around town. She tried it once and it did not end pretty. Apparently, Regina's near unquenchable libido is quickly doused whenever Neal is anywhere in town, leaving instead a touchy, irritated and uncertain woman in her wake. Regina becomes all about self-preservation from a threat that exists only in her head and no matter how many times Emma tries to tell her there's no way she'd ever choose Neal over her, it doesn't seem to get through to the brunette.

It's a little too easy to get into a real argument with Regina when the sheriff is painfully aware of her own grumpy mood due to five days of Neal hovering over them and her inability to get off satisfactory by herself. It doesn't help that she's constantly on edge because she keeps waking up to a dream of her being so very close to the edge, only to be frustratingly denied her release.

Words are exchanged in anger and hurt that really shouldn't be and Regina leaves her in a puff of purple smoke, the last thing to burn itself against the blonde's retina the sight of dark pools brimming with tears.

Emma lets out a scream of frustration and regret. She should have known better than to let her emotions get the best of her and now she feels like a total ass.

She closes her eyes and focuses on letting her magic connect with her girlfriend's, like they've done so many times before, but finds that her efforts are thwarted by the very woman she's trying to reach.

The blonde furrows her brows and tries even harder to reach out for the brunette, to project how sorry she is and that she wants her to come back so they can talk, but all she meets is an impenetrable wall. She releases another scream of frustration as she gives up trying to breach it and realizes how bad she fucked up if her lover is shutting her out so completely.

Emma is frozen solid where she stands - her mind oddly blank - before she vaguely notices the sound of running footsteps and turns just in time to see David throw open the door slightly out of breath, his eyes filled with alarm as he quickly scans the room.

"Dad, I need you to watch the station for a while, I have to go somewhere," she blurts out before he can open his mouth and ask what's going on.

"Is everything okay?" he questions as the sheriff pushes past him on her way to her car.

"Hopefully it will be. Just watch the station," she calls over her shoulder before throwing herself into the car and speeding off as quickly as she can manage.

* * *

She finds the mayor hunched over her father's coffin and Emma approaches her slowly, like she would a scared animal.

"Hey," she whispers as she sidles up next to her, frowning at the red, puffy eyes and wet cheeks she sees.

"Someday you really need to learn to take a hint," Regina replies, her voice hoarse and slightly quivering. It makes the blonde want to wrap her up in her arms and promise her the world just to try and make it better. Also, it makes her heart hurt because she knows she's one of very few people that can really inflict this kind of pain on the woman she's come to love.

"Maybe, but not today it seems," she replies sheepishly, her half grin fading quickly when it garners no reaction from the other woman.

"I needed you to know that I didn't mean it," she continues more seriously. The brunette gives her a brief sideways glance.

"Didn't you? It's when we're at our worst that the truth comes out." Her girlfriend's voice is filled with a little too much defeat for Emma's liking.

"Well, then it's a good thing we're _not_ at our worst so we know it's not the truth," she replies firmly. The mayor glances over at her again – as if to see if she's really speaking the truth – before she goes back to staring at the coffin.

"I was frustrated okay, and I'm sorry. I should have known how you would take it, but you know how good I am at just blurting things out without thinking it through," the blonde offers, knowing that if for nothing else, her self-deprecation should at least work as a peace offering.

"Indeed," Regina agrees with a brief smirk, forgetting her hurt for a moment.

"I just think, sometimes you forget you're not the only one with issues," Emma states uncomfortably as she glances down at her feet and the other woman sends her a warning glare, but doesn't say anything. She takes that as a sign that she should continue.

"It hurts me you know, when you distance yourself from me. Usually it's like you can't ever get enough of me, but then whenever Neal is here, you act like I'm something filthy you can't stand to be near."

Regina's eyes widen in guilt and fear as she turns abruptly to face the sheriff. "I'm-That's not-"

"I know-" the blonde interrupts quickly. She doesn't want apologies or reassurances from her girlfriend right now, that's not why she said it. "I just need you to try to remember that you're not the only one who's been used or hurt or tossed aside when you've served your purpose."

The mayor looks genuinely contrite as she glances down at her hands uncomfortably before reluctantly meeting Emma's eyes. "I know, I'm…I'm sorry." Apologies have never really been her strong suit and she's never felt much inclined to give them. Except to her son and Emma. As hard as she finds it to express regret, her body and mind has always found it imperative that she does so to them.

The blonde tries to give her girlfriend a smile that's both encouraging and forgiving. "I'm sorry too. Just try to remember that I'm not exactly thrilled when he's here either."

Regina purses her lips slightly, her shoulders rolling back as she straightens, before she nods her head briskly in confirmation.

"Okay," Emma states with a relieved smile before she frowns. "I'm gonna cry now," she warns as she feels her eyes water as all the emotions and adrenaline her body has been running on slowly fades. Not to mention because she can finally relax and not fear that something disastrous will happen; like Regina giving up on her and telling her they're over.

The brunette snorts at the words as she wipes bashfully at her own cheeks.

"I really need to hug you. Can I?" the sheriff asks self-consciously, glad when her girlfriend gives her assent by taking the one step needed to close their distance so they can wrap themselves around each other.

The two women cling tightly to each other as tears roll silently from their eyes.

* * *

"I uh…I could try to find another place to stay sometimes," Neal suggests awkwardly after he's pulled Emma off to the side after a tense dinner.

"Jeez, it only took you, what, 5 moths to figure that out?" the blonde replies annoyed, scowling at him as he raises his hands in surrender. She doesn't mean to be so harsh with him, but she's had a roller coaster of a day and she's always found it easier to appear aggressive when she gets defensive.

"I was just trying to help. I don't want to cause any trouble."

"It's a little late for that," Regina states as she walks through the door, smirking as the other two jump in surprise at her sudden appearance. "If that was true, you'd stay away from our family."

"Hey, that's not-" Neal starts to say hotly, but the mayor promptly cuts him off.

"I have no concerns about your feelings Mr. Cassidy. I adopted him legally. He's _my _son. If I truly wanted to I could force you to stay away from him. Whatever problems you have with that you'll have to take with Miss Swan. She's the one who kept you out of the loop and made sure you have no rights to him."

Emma scowls at her girlfriend's words. They're harsh and mean and she can't help but feel they're payback for hurting her earlier. Regina lets out a theatrical sigh at the two faces that stare angrily back at her.

"However, Henry appears to want you in his life – even though I really can't understand why – and so we'll all have to play nice."

Twin grumbles of reluctant agreement can be heard.

"Make no mistake though. You're not part of this family. And therefore you need not concern yourself with it. Emma and I manage just fine without your interference so I suggest you just be thankful that we're offering you such an easy solution. It saves you a lot of time and money so I should think you'd be happy no?"

Neal looks deeply insulted that Regina would insinuate he cares about those things more than his son, but a warning look from the blonde makes him rethink whatever he's planning to say.

"Of course," he tells her as he nods briefly at them before walking stiffly out of the room, no doubt to find Henry.

"What the hell Regina," Emma grits out as soon as she's sure Neal is well out of ear shot. The mayor looks shameful for about two seconds.

"He has no business interfering with our lives any more than his presence here already does," she defends herself petulantly, her chin rising slightly in defiance.

"He was trying to help," the sheriff says exasperated.

"That's ironic since we wouldn't be having any problems if he would just stay away," Regina shoots back quickly and the blonde pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"God, you're so difficult sometimes," she whispers more to herself than the other woman. "He was offering to give us space. Why couldn't you just accept an offer for once?"

The brunette shoots her an incredulous look. "And let him think that I'm weak, that I can't handle his presence? Let him think that I see him as a threat?"

_Which you do_, Emma thinks, but she has enough sense to keep that to herself. What she needs to do is try to change her girlfriend's belief that everyone is always out to get her. It's reasonable, given her history as the 'Evil Queen', but she's forgetting that a lot has changed now.

"Ever thought that maybe he just sees that we're not happy when he's here and he wants us to be?" she counters, watching as the mayor gives the idea all of three seconds of thought before dismissing it.

"I find that highly unlikely."

"Not everyone is out to hurt you, you know," Emma tells the other woman with a sigh as she slowly starts inching closer. Regina lets out a huff and crosses her arms in irritation, eyeing the glint in her girlfriend's eyes skeptically as she slowly comes ever closer.

"He's Rumpelstiltskin's son. I don't trust him," the brunette states, raising her brows in challenge as the sheriff reaches out and uncrosses her arms, moves into her personal space and guides her lover's arms around to her back.

"You don't need to. Just trust _me_," the blonde whispers as she lets her nose barely graze the other woman's, smiling when Regina unconsciously tightens her hold around her and releases a small sigh.

"I hate you," the mayor states, but there's no malice in her voice, only affection and annoyance at the fact she knows she's just lost.

"I love you," Emma responds as she lets her lips ghost over the other woman's before she moves her head to the side so she can breathe in the brunette's scent and place a kiss just under her ear.

"I love you too," Regina admits as her girlfriend wraps her arms around her waist and pulls their bodies flush against each other. The sheriff smiles as the mayor lets herself relax into her hold.

Most of the time, her life now is great.


End file.
